On Emotions, Part 3: Personal Notes and Reflections

1. Emotions and feelings are culturally embedded. Our cultural context affects the ways we experience our emotions; society and our family of origin also (implicitly and explicitly) shapes what we believe about our emotions and feelings, and how we express them (e.g., “do not cry,” “it’s only ok to express ‘positive’ emotions, not ‘negative’ ones,” “be stoic”).So, on that note, I also want to ask you, are there words/phrases in a different language or your native tongue that can more accurately express your feelings and help you to connect to them better? Using the languages I speak as an example, “anade” (အားနာတယ်) in Burmese has no direct English translation, so it is hard to describe, but my family and friends use it to describe when we are feeling a mix of fear/sympathy/embarrassment and are uncomfortable because we don’t want to cause someone else psychological distress. This is a feeling that is embedded in interpersonal relationships and dynamics as well.

   
   

   In Singlish, we use a Hokkien term “paiseh” (歹势) to describe something similar to “anade” that communicates that one is feeling embarrassed or sheepish and apologetic. These words capture not only the emotional valence but also the nonverbal “vibe” as well as the cultural connotations that English is simply not able to.As a Third Culture Kid, the Welsh word “hiraeth” has meant a lot to me. To my understanding, it describes homesickness, longing, and nostalgia for a home but a home that never was or maybe does not exist (anymore). To me, that word has helped me to process the grief and loss of saying goodbye to multiple homes and knowing that even if I am able to go back to the physical location, it will never be the same because the exact makeup of people and situations no longer exists and cannot be returned to in the same way. 
   

2. I believe that emotions that we disown (or had to disown) and put into our shadow, emotions that people did not allow us to feel, or emotions that may be stuck from a certain phase in our lives with no catharsis all have their place and belong in your life. There is so much meaning to glean from it. I hope that therapy would be a safe enough space for you to feel and talk about it. 
   

3. Some other resources on emotions/feelings that may be helpful:

   • Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown (Book & TV series)

   • How We Feel (App)

   • Inside Out and Inside Out 2 (Movies)

   • Headspace (App)

Read Part 1 and Part 2.